sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
