I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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