who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
