He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
