Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Gay?
German.
Pity.
and you fell through a lawn chair
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize