...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize