Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
