when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
