Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
