i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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