im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
