My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
