I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
