i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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