for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sorry my hands just texted you
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
