does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
