Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
