So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
