Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
