rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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