You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
