porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
