I want to stick my p in your. b.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
