Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
