love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
