i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you would pick up someone in the library
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
