I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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