Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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