so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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