Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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