Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize