Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
