It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize