Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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