ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
