I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
