You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
