Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize