I heard we made out
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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