I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize