was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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