now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
