are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize