also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
