He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize