Me. At least after what I've been through.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Four minutes until I can fart!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
