We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
