I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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