Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
