i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
