Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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