Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
