i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
