the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
