Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Randomize
