Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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