just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize