their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
