it wasn't lemon gatorade
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize