For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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