matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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