Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
