How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize