we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
